Dreams do come true

I'm up in the middle of the night on day 5 of my intense diet and exercise program.  This is the first night that I am having trouble sleeping. What is the deal?  I normally sleep great.  Since I take so much solace in writing, I wanted to share a story with you.  Many people wonder how I got where I am.  Let me enlighten you.

About 4 years ago I reflected on my life.  I looked at myself to see who I had become, the type of person I was, my attitude, influences and educators.  I found that after much reflection there was not many people in my life that lifted me up, rather they added what I would call 'baggage'.  I stopped worrying about how to change others and started focusing on how to change myself.

As I started to dig deep inside, I couldn't help but feel bitterness towards the ones I loved.  Why am I where I am?  Why didn't my parents educate me more on finishing school & not getting pregnant early?  It was hard being a single mom. It was hard to support myself with a child since the age of 18. Why me?  I was the perfect child growing up, the smart one, the one that never got in trouble - the All-American girl.  I can sit here today and answer my own questions.

I had to battle my own pain to answer my own unanswered questions. I needed to learn to forgive.  What came next?  I went through a stage of hibernation.  I wanted to unleash all the bottled up feelings.  I needed to find me.

The number one question I remember asking myself is, "where do I want to be in 5 years"?  Evaluating my life led me to change it.  I started focusing on how to become a better person.  For starters, I took the drama out my life.  I changed my inner circle.  I started to dream again, read and write.  I started listing my goals.  I was unhappy with my current job so I looked for one that I loved.  I started created happiness that surrounded me.  I started laying out the real foundation to my life.

Why must I blame the world for my circumstances?  I must simply learn to change it.  I changed every aspect of my life.  My boss once told me, "Ann, it's called sacrifice for a reason".   I taught myself how to sacrifice.  I was going to have to give to get.  I lived an OK lifestyle supporting us, but I wanted more; I needed more.  I wanted to be a stronger, independent, successful women.  Most importantly, I did it on my own.  I wrote down what success meant to me, how I would accomplish my dreams, goals & visions.  From that moment on, I never looked back & only climbed higher.  I believed in myself again.

For one, I set a long term goal to work for myself.  I wanted to start a business.  What business?  Well, I had no idea at the time.  I just knew I wanted to make the rules, call the shots, pick my own hours, and provide a limitless income for my family.  That's when I made my mind up to go back to school to finish school and get a business degree. 

The funny thing is when I told people, they didn't believe me.  No one believed in me.  My dreams became so big that I was living in a fantasy world to them.  They told me it was impossible.  Ann, how could you go to school full time, do homework, work full time, support your baby, model & still be a good mommy?  They said it couldn't happen.  Yes, they all said it! Especially with zero financial assistance.  I replied with, "I will do it, watch and see".  I will not give up no matter how hard things get.

Deep down this kind of made me feel good b/c I was going to prove them wrong.  I knew in my heart that my dreams would come true.  I already thought of all the scenarios.  I knew it was going to be tough.  I had it all planned and figured out.  How did I do it?

For starters, I had lived in my own apartment since the day I moved away from home.  I worked hard for my money and liked spending it even more.  That had to change so I made a big decision to look for a home with roommates (ewww).  I started to chop down my expenses like it was no one's business.  Going back to school required my totally dedication and sacrifice.  This is where it started.  I also looked for a job that would allow me to work around my school schedule. I looked hard for a perfect job that suited me.  And after 6 months of searching, I found it.

It was perfect, I even had my own beautiful office in such a peaceful downtown neighborhood.  I can honestly say I loved going to work everyday.  I was an accounts manger for a real estate development firm.  It was a small, dynamic team of 5.  For what I wanted to eventually do on my own, it was only the beginning of paving my future. 

I was able to go to go to school full-time while supporting myself working part-time.  I would either do my homework the week I didn't have Ashton or after he fell asleep so I could spend quality time with him.  I did my modeling on the weekend I didn't have him.  I would plan, plan, plan. It was all about STRUCTURE that made it all work.


Caio,
Ann Marie