Since the beginning, he has shared his roller coaster ride of emotions, fears, personal break throughs and tribulations. I was hurt at first & very angry with him. I told him that if he did the crime, then suck it up & pay with time. Said he was extremely selfish! Only a selfish fool would put your family through so much. You think you're the only one suffering? Told you a million times to stay out of trouble & don't associate with those that do. Why didn’t you listen to me? Why!?
The family eventually got through the hurt and the anger. I told Mark that we would not accept a pity party story from him. Never sit there with a “poor me” attitude. That is the attitude of a weak man & Mark is NOT weak. He needed to maximize his time there. He needed to find God. Walk towards the light and let the Almighty heal you. Your attitude will reflect the final outcome and it will shape your future. What kind of man do you want to become? What kind of father do you want to be? What do you want out of life?
I’m so happy to say almost a year later that he has reshaped his life & paved a new future for himself. He followed all our suggestions & took on more! He finished his GED – yeah! Mark always hated school and at a young age, got involved with the wrong crowd. With not having a father present in his life, he looked to the older kids as role models. Unfortunately, they were trouble. Where were they all when it went downhill for him? Like I always say, “if you friends don’t make you a better person, dump them as they aren’t going to be your true friends”.
He read the entire Bible! I know that sounds cliché, but God breaks you down for a reason. There was a reason why he was there and now Jesus has your undivided attention. You will not make it out that place alive, in good spirits, without him. Mark loves the Lord and says that his favorite book is Acts. Wow, he can actually talk religion, philosophy and history with me =). Mark loves to read and improved 100% on his grammar, punctuation and literacy. He has beautiful penmanship. I send him books that fill his mind with knowledge and power.
He also is in the best shape of his life. He is completely solid and rockin’ a sick 6 pack. He devotes his time to reading, writing, working out, school & God. Although you hear the good, you have no idea what a living hell he is going through and what he has been though. For starters, he is in a unit surrounded with murderers. He has been tested in every way possible and has to maintain his cool so he does not end up with another case while imprisoned.
His unit has no air conditioning. Can you imagine being inside the prison walls, in the Valley, with no A/C? Talk about a taste of hell! Thank you Lord for showing my bro what hell feels like. Although I hate knowing Mark is in there, I know that is what he needed during this time in his life. Mark said that the worst thoughts of prison do not even begin to describe what it is really like.
What really pisses me off is that recently they were in lock down. That means no calls, no baths, no exercise, nothing. Mark said that he felt as if he was dying of a heat stoke so he went to the sink to wet his face. Because he was wetting his face, he caught a case. That means they will try and add more time to his sentence. Really, wetting your face?
Talk about getting you down. The system is corrupted with crooks themselves it’s set up to destroy you, not make you a better person. He usually takes 3 baths a day b/c the heat. You have bigger issues to deal with rather then worrying about some BS case.
Mark is scheduled to get out in spring of 2012 at the latest. However, it is possible that he may get released earlier on the contingency of good behavior. I know that those inmates deserve to be there, but at the same time my brother is not an animal. Just remember that everyone deserves a second chance. His crime was for a whole bunch of crap in his early teen years.
I miss my sweet brother and can’t wait until that day where he is hugging me again. Miss him so so much. God, bring him home safe. I’m so proud of him and not ashamed of his mistakes. We all make them and most even get away with them. His few years will become a small sacrifice for the new future that he will pave for himself and his family. I can’t wait to see what comes out of all that ambition and drive. I love you bro! He is a big part of my heart and I can’t imagine life without him. Thank you Lord for the strength.
I asked him for one promise - that he would not get a tattoo in there. He has none and I’m proud of that. I didn’t want him to have anything to remember that hell hole. My exact words were, “please don’t have vato or prison all over you”. You are better than that. Don’t give into the temptations of the corrupt.
My next blog will feature the childhood from our eyes. Stay tuned!
No comments:
Post a Comment